about me + soul sex…
I’m an emerging leader in the field of conscious relating + sexuality, creator of the ground-breaking INTRO TO SOUL SEX™ workshop, and author of Soul Sex: A Field Guide to Redeeming Our Primal Desire to Connect (forthcoming).
But I’m getting waaay ahead of myself here. So let’s scroll back a few years, shall we?
My past life —
or how I burned my beliefs to the ground,
and rose like an intention-seeking Phoenix.
I wasn’t always heart-centered, embodied, and attuned to my soul’s voice. Ha. No. I was numb. Lived in my head. And worked a 70-80 hour work week. Devoid of deep connection + meaningful purpose.
My story is emblazoned with bold contradictions. I’ve lived + worked in many worlds — from ivory tower academia to boutique consulting for Fortune 100s to volunteer service at a global non-profit.
I’ve lived on pasta + canned tuna while working four jobs. (No joke.) And I’ve wined ‘n dined on the company dime. I’ve tossed my graduation cap in the air with a B.A. + M.A., then stopped out of a Ph.D. program because life apparently had other plans for me.
My wake up call: February 14, 2005. The day my daughter was born. Surrendering to the birth experience, I was literally jolted to my senses while riding waves of raw emotion. A far cry from my usual M.O. of being a disembodied walking head on campus.
Funny thing is, I had grown up very active. I biked, ran track + field, ice-skated, skied, swam, sailed, body surfed + roamed freely in a rural community within a half mile of the Atlantic, deeply connected to the natural world.
Somehow, as an “adult”, I had drifted away from the wisdom of being in my body and enjoying the wonders of nature. Deluding myself that I had to be all professional + serious about life’s responsibilities. I forgot how to play. Or see beyond the end of my nose.
Then my life ended. A couple of times, actually.
On July 23, 2007, my life was endangered by my intimate partner. I survived a near-fatal car crash complete with a head injury that temporarily impaired my cognitive + executive functioning. Overnight my academic career was shut down.
Two years later, I walked away from my sexless marriage plagued by domestic violence, and lost my home + life savings in the aftermath.
I took my daughter. I took a deep breath. And I took the ravaged remains of my old life, and torched them. Alchemically speaking.
“What is to give light must endure burning.”
Destruction can be a beautiful thing.
Faith. A clean slate.
And my full-throttle life calling.
The best thing about reinventing yourself?
When you’re starting from ground zero, you’ve got nothing to lose.
After my crash-and-burn fiasco and plenty of devout time on my zafu + yoga mat, I noticed I wasn’t the only one feeling the pain of disconnection, loneliness and an impenetrable sense of this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.
“The problems we experience in our lives and in our world (whether relationship or world hunger) stem from energetic weakness and disconnection, from our lack of capacity to feel ourselves, each other, the earth, and how life seeks to move and evolve through us.” ~Dan Emmons
Ever so slowly, I regained agency as a competent + creative human being. Not to mention sensitivity — the capacity to feel. It’s been painful. At times, excruciatingly so. It’s been full of grief, gaping voids + unanswered questions. And it’s also been filled with wonder. Joy. Love. Miracles. Grace. Ease. Flow.
At the same time, here’s where my story takes a stroll off the beaten path. Newly single after 12 years, my sex woke up. And it was ravenous.
I wanted to feed it intentionally but I had no idea where — in North American society — I could learn to do that. Good excuse to fire up my academic skills. So I did the research. And I did the “field work.” All while incorporating my contemplative practices + pondering this question:
What if I learned how to cultivate and express my relational and sexual self in intentional, life-affirming ways?
This was the spark that ignited Soul Sex.
Personal + sexual empowerment were merely the first steps into a nourishing new way of living. Yet miraculously surviving significant trauma + crisis have clearly called me to more than blatant self-gratification. I woke up to much more than my birthright to be a sexual being.
I fell in love with myself. I fell in love with life. I fell in love with the world.
Something shifted on a cellular level. I was broken open. I feel like I became truly human. Alive like never before. And my heart + soul yearn to give back, in gratitude for the beautiful gift of life that has been freely restored to me.
“We’ve all been given a gift, the gift of life. What we do with our lives is our gift back.”
From a holistic perspective, I had been brought to my knees by my own palpable naiveté + vulnerability. Yet, I awoke to the truth that my individual human experience was simultaneously embedded within the standard narrative of the dominant culture.
I wanted to replace the polarized and taboo, yet hyper-sexualized fairy tale piped in by mainstream media with one that ardently embraces mutual safety, trust, respect, and caring. One that invited me to remember + practice what it means to be fully human, in community with others who cherish these values.
Are you too seeking a new story of human connection?
I firmly believe we’re all in this together. Radically interconnected.
My way to give back: I’ve leveraged 20+ years of experience in human development + training into a brand new vocation devoted to teaching contemplative sex education with integrity + compassion.
Yet, it’s been under a decade since I entered this brave, new world of intentional relating. So, it’s with sincere humility and a reverence for the slow, organic, and on-going healing and transformation of myself, others, and our broken culture that I can share…
What’s true now:
My flagship workshop, INTRO TO SOUL SEX™, has warmed hearts and sold-out from LA to Vancouver + everywhere in between.
Devout yoga teachers + wellness professionals are approaching me to participate in the inaugural Certified SOUL SEX™ Facilitator training to teach + grow community around the foundational workshop.
I’ve also created the SOUL SEX™ MiniDeck, a provocative set of contemplative wisdom cards that spark intimate and sexual connection.
I’m focused on writing now + anticipating my first book release in 2017.
I humbly share my gift of restoring healthy sexual expression + nourishing intimate relationship in our world by serving evolving individuals + groups across the U.S. + Canada.
And you’re here.
And let me tell you…
It’s not luck,
“Magic is the technology of the soul.” ~Pedro F. Báez
Reach out. Turn on.
Personal attention more your cup of tea? Step right this way.
(Professional coaching and training for men only.)
Got a few burning questions? Interview me.
In gratitude + service,